Burnin’ Holes

Burnin’ Holes

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Stealing lunches isn’t uncommon in corporate settings. Just because one asshole forgets his lunch doesn’t mean everything in the community fridge is free game. This guy exacted revenge on the douche that kept stealing his wife’s lunch using Blair’s 4am Reserve, which is a capsaicin extract that rates 4 million Scoville Units (it would take 4 million drops of water to dilute the heat of 1 drop of the extract). It didn’t kill the thief, but it sure cured him of stealing lunches!

David Lynch has walked away from the Showtime revival of his series, “Twin Peaks”. The cast & crew are pleading via social media to David, asking him to return to the project. Let’s hashtag #SaveTwinPeaks to get this series back on track!

It may not be a McDonald’s burned vagina payout, but this guy got his day in court and won $2000 from Pizza Hut from injuries relating to “excessively hard” croutons on their salad bar that shattered his denture…

Is this going to be the trend? From Natalie Cole singing a duet with her father back in the 1990’s to a Michael Jackson hologram at last year’s Billboard Music Awards, will dead musical artists “revive” their career from the grave as full concert holograms? Would you pay to see Selena on stage? How about Jim Morrison or Jerry Garcia?

How is showing “American Sniper” a fun night & welcoming to all? U of M has decided to follow through with showing the film despite protests from several Muslim student associations. Most offensive about the ordeal was the alternate movie choice, “Paddington Bear”…

Joining any sort of social media you have to be under the assumption that said social media outlet is going to sell your information for ad revenue. A bunch of Austrian students are suing Facebook for invasion of privacy when their information was used for targeted ads. Facebook lawyers spent 4 hours in their opening remarks asking for a dismissal. I would too since a win in this trial would mean a trickle down to other countries.

A tiny house has been found 10 miles from its original location when it was pulled off its foundation. Do they make “tiny house” padlocks? If not, this could be a moneymaker!

Only after being shown how to interpret the license plate does it make sense. Offensive? I guess to those that are anal (no pun intended) enough to decipher it…

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Until next week Junkies


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