Author Archive: MattyV

Auto Embarrassment

Auto Embarrassment

This week MattyV discussed an article regarding a poll of 2,000 respondents stating why they were embarrassed by their vehicle. Then he went through his own car history:

1984 Chevrolet Celebrity – a hand-me-down from my mom. Front end was smashed to hell due to the previous owner’s penchant for speeding in order to make it to their college classes on time. Took a date to prom in this vehicle & later dropped her off to get her vehicle…

1986 Chevrolet Celebrity – the one I had was gold with a vinyl faux convertible top. Took that to college where a frat brother puked in it. Was the king of my college dorm floor because I had a means of escape from campus.

1989 Ford Aerostar, Eddie Bauer Edition – the first vehicle I chose and got a loan on. Had all the bells & whistles, the back seats even folded down into a bed. Got into a car accident 3 days after getting it, had the opportunity to get something else from the dealership but I had to have the bed in the back (bow-chicka-bow-bow!)…

1996 Chevrolet Blazer LT – our first car as a married couple. Thought we would help my dad out, he repossessed this vehicle from a friend’s son that he had co-signed a loan for. Kid ruined the engine and put on a bunch of aftermarket “bling” on it. Died 3 months after we paid it off…

1996 Ford Windstar LX – desperate for a vehicle, it was this or a 1993 Ford Explorer Coupe. We had a baby and knew that a minivan was in our future. Got totaled in a car accident…

1993 Buick Lesabre – dad was trading up and after the totaled minivan “gifted” us this vehicle. Ugly as hell but got us where we needed to go.

2007 Buick Lucerne LX – stepmom is enamored with Buicks, had one all her life and like back in the old days she traded up every 2 years. We enjoyed this vehicle until it was totaled in a car accident (that also totaled my left leg)…

1998 Buick Lesabre – dad decided to trade up his vehicle for an Impala and gave us this vehicle. Rusted out but ran well for a few years.

2004 Chevrolet Avalanche – used some of the money gotten from the car accident lawsuit to purchase it. Has everything I wanted except a flex-fuel engine. It had 175,000 miles on it when I got it 5 years ago and is still running today. Starting to rust and had a bunch of things fixed over the years, gonna run this b*tch until the wheels fall off…

Tell us about your vehicle history or any quirky stories you might have! Share them on our Facebook page or tweet us!

Sunday Cinema – “Star Crystal”

For the month of May we’re going to look at space-themed movies in reference to Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you!)…

It’s 2035 and Earth has sent several exploration teams to the planet Mars but have not reported back. A 3rd crew is sent and finds out what happened to the previous teams.

An obvious rip-off of the Alien franchise, utilizing plots from both the original movie and the sequel that came out the same year as this film. A toy Millenium Falcon can be seen as a part of the space station in several scenes…

Someone posted a VHS transfer of a poor film transfer (notice the film jiggle?) online for all to check out…

Sunday Cinema – “Star Slammer”

For the month of May we’re going to look at space-themed movies in reference to Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you!)…

Filmed in 1984 but not released until 1988, Star Slammer finds 2 women unjustly sentenced to a prison planet for a crime they didn’t commit. Plotting their escape, they will have to navigate lesbian guards, psychotic wardens, & mutant rodents.

Certainly, a softcore porn made for the discriminate VCR owner that was embarrassed to rent from the “adult” section of the video store. The end credits boast a sequel that never came to fruition – “Chain Gang Planet”…

Someone posted a VHS transfer online for everyone to check out.

FAAFO

(Shirt design can be found at TeePublic.com)

This passenger FAAFO when he harassed and threw a water bottle at Mike Tyson during a flight to Miami…

Disney FAAFO when they spoke out on political issues that they had nothing to do with…

This mother FAAFO when she called in a bomb threat to her son’s school over a lunch issue…

This college baseball player will FAAFO after tackling a batter after hitting a home run. Investigation is underway to find out the cause of the scuffle…

Hopefully other stadiums/music venues will follow suit, FAAFO when you change classic venue names to corporate sponsor ones…

Sadly, this kid FAAFO what happens when you drive over 150mph on a public roadway. He killed 6 people and there is an Instagram recording of him doing over 180mph in the same vehicle earlier…

Sunday Cinema – “Star Odyssey”

For the month of May we’re going to look at space-themed movies in reference to Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you!)…

The Italians were big on ripping off beloved American film genres from westerns to action adventures. Space is one that is in a class on its own. This is the third film in a “trilogy” of space-themed movies by director Alfonso Brescia. Earth has been “purchased” by an evil overlord bent on enslaving the planet. A top scientist along with his robots & a ragtag group come together to defeat said overlord. Think “Star Wars” but without the star power, musical score, personality.

Someone posted a VHS transfer online, Italian cheese at its finest…

Sunday Cinema – “Aftershock” (2008)

April tends to be the month when natural disasters start to strike from tornadoes to mudslides & floods from the melting winter snow. All this month we look at movies with a natural disaster theme.

Aftershock (2008)

Depicts the various dilemmas of people fighting for survival after an earthquake & tsunami hit the country of New Zealand.

Someone posted it online for all to partake & enjoy!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

(Meme courtesy memecenter.com)

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

The Guardians are gonna kill somebody with this drink concoction

The MLB has approved the use of PitchCom to hopefully prevent signal stealing and speed up the games. Average 9-inning game topped 3hr10min7sec. The Tigers aren’t going to use it..

The MLB will also start making in-park announcements explaining umpire decisions during the review process, the NHL/NBA/NFL have adopted this years ago…

Albert Pujols is divorcing his wife of 22 years & announced it mere days after she had brain tumor removal surgery. Talk about timing…

MLB parks will be offering “Cracker Jill” for a $5 donation that will benefit the Women’s Sports Foundation. They have even rewritten the decades-old jingle sung during the seventh-inning stretch…

Tiger Woods is playing the Masters for the chance at another green jacket, but all people can talk about is his shoes…

A bump from a stranger can mean you’re being robbed or that you’ve won $10 million

Sunday Cinema – “Hurricane” (1937)

April tends to be the month when natural disasters start to strike from tornadoes to mudslides & floods from the melting winter snow. All this month we look at movies with a natural disaster theme.

Hurricane (1937)

A sailor is imprisoned for standing up against an island bully. He attempts escape from prison when a huge hurricane threatens the island. Directed by John Ford and starring Jon Hall, Dorothy Lamour, & Mary Astor, it is a little-known classic of early action cinema.

Someone posted it online for all to partake & enjoy!

Sunday Cinema – “St. Helens” (1981)

April tends to be the month when natural disasters start to strike from tornadoes to mudslides & floods from the melting winter snow. All this month we look at movies with a natural disaster theme.

St. Helens (1981)

A dramatization of the actual events revolving around the eruption of Mount St. Helens. Stars Art Carney as Harry R. Truman, a prospector & caretaker that refused to leave his home at the foot of the mountain and died under 150ft of volcanic debris.

Someone posted it online for all to partake & enjoy!

Five Fingers

(Meme attributed to anonymous poster)

Five Fingers

What happened at the Oscars last week reminded us of the Charlie Murphy story involving Rick James...

Was apprehensive being a Seth MacFarlane show, but actually enjoyed the series. Can’t wait for season 3 to begin in June!

We are sure the ticket sales are surging because they hope to hear Chris’ story of what happened before/after the incident…

South Korea upholds ban on tattooing, claiming that only medical professionals are able to safely do them.

The Black Crows former drummer is suing the band for unpaid royalties, but cannot specify how much he is owed

1 in 5 Americans have dabbled in cryptocurrency, I’ve got some Shiba Inu, just a little north of 709k (or about $23 worth)…

After a mandatory 71 years, the census records from 1950 will be released to the public digitally. Should be an interesting read…

One specimen of moon dust collected by Neil Armstrong NOT in the hands of the government will go up for auction at an estimate of $1.2mil. The owner sued the government to successfully retain ownership of it.

After more than 20 years, we finally have a complete map of the human genome